Lies and Genuine Happiness

Some words are best left unsaid. I heard this line many times before and somehow I believed it. But when do we say the truth? How do we know it's the right time to come clean? I honestly don't know as well.

A lot of people would suggest that we shouldn't say the things that could hurt others. Acceptable, but the debater in me wouldn't just accept that idea. Do we really avoid hurting someone's feelings when we hide things from them and lie to them about it? Or do we hurt them even more by doing so?

I recently watched the film "Four Sisters and A Wedding" and the confrontation scene really made me think. Toni's character (from here on called Toni) lied to her mom about her job because she doesn't want to disappoint her. Things you keep to yourself not to hurt others. Check. But hasn't she really hurt her mom??

We have to accept that sometimes we really do things that could hurt other people. Some of us keep it secret so as not to hurt certain people but you have to realize that lying to them may even hurt them more. We give them the idea that we do not trust them that much to tell them big important things about us. Another is that we are prejudging them to be people who are not understanding enough to accept us for who we are - or what we do for a living.

In the case of the movie, it is a mother's love in question. We all know that a mother's love is unconditional and I know a lot of people who would agree with that based on their personal experiences. All of us, as children, should accept the fact that whatever we've done or whatever we've become of ourselves, our mothers would accept us and love us nonetheless.

It is presented in the movie that Toni's mom still accepted her after knowing what her real job is. The love of a mother will never fade for whatever given reason. Our moms will love us the same, if not more.

This is where you choose - to lie or to tell the truth. Lying could get you out of trouble - but until when? Lying would give the impression that everybody's happy - but are you, given your secrets and lies?

Genuine happiness, at least as I understand it, is something that gives you freedom. Letting go of your secrets and telling the truth would give you genuine happiness. Why? If you hide the truth, only you would know it. Everyone would seem happy. Everyone would think nothing's wrong. Seeing that could make you happy, but if you think about it - the worry it gives you thinking that they would eventually learn about the truth - you are not happy from within. If you are honest with everything, there's a huge chance that you would make people sad and angry and all those negative feelings. However, if you talk about it and make them see what you see, eventually (and this may take years, but still) they will learn to accept you - especially if it's family we're talking about because your family is ideally your number one supporters.

You will be happy being accepted by the people who really matters to you, you will be free from lies, you will be happy inside and out!

Genuine happiness is about freedom, honesty, acceptance and staying happy in spite of all the "sad truths". Remember, the ones who matter wouldn't care and the ones who care wouldn't matter. So spill it out and see who are the people for keeps. :))

Angel