Affirmations. When I joined the Youth Encounter - a 3-day retreat organized by the youth ministry of the Bukas Loob sa Diyos - we were encouraged to give affirmations to others, not the sarcastic bully just-so-I-could-say-something kind. I was taught that if I were to see something great by someone, I have to let him know that he did well or that he looks great or whatever.
Some people are motivated and motivate others through negativity. Some people would tell you that you need to work harder or that what you did is not good enough so you'd be pushed to do better next time. This works for me but not for a long time. I remember our coach - she tells us during practice that we run so slow or that we don't make enough baskets at a given time and all those things. Yes, I'm sort of challenged to do better but after like 20 comments like that, I just settle for the fact that I won't have further improvements. They'd say they're pulling me down so I'd spring back up but after some time, I get tired and just stay down.
What I realize is that affirmation gives me long-lasting motivation. Like in school, my professor told us that he will be displaying the best works at the bulletin board by the end of the semester. I know I'm not that good in drawing but because of that, I'm actually trying so much harder. I want my work posted there primarily because I want to make myself believe that I could actually do it, that I could really be good enough if I just exert so much effort.
Back in college, I remember doing my assignments far from the architecture building. I do it at the accountancy/business building, while waiting for my bestfriend for lunch. One factor is that I like the feeling when students from the business courses would tell me my drawing is nice, compared to the sad comments I get from some of my classmates. Yeah, I rarely get compliments from people who are really into the craft.
My pointillism assignment on the works
That's why I was super happy when my Visual Techniques professor told me my pointillism assignment is actually great. Weee!! Just in time because I was already beginning to give up on his class. I tried hard but I still got low grades. I was reminded that I just needed to try so much harder. Just as I stated in my previous blog - you think you're at you're best, well you're not. Amazing. You think you did good, well wait for someone to give you affirmation. This is because sometimes we become so tired that we appreciate our own works when it is not that good. I needed that simple praise to keep me going.
I think this could be true to most people because if you could remember your classes, there's this pyramid of needs made by Maslow (I forgot his first name). And somewhere near the top, there's self esteem and to have that, he suggests that people needs recognition. And for me, a recognition is a very high type of affirmation. It's when you are told that you really did well, enough to make people see you as someone they could look up to.
That simple affirmation from my professor was like my second line of safety. Like the ziplines, they have this second cable in case the first one breaks. That affirmation saved me from slacking, thinking I won't be better no matter what I do.
Compliments are very short phrases and sometimes even just a word - like great or good or nice - but these could make so much difference. You'll never know your compliment might stop a person from committing suicide. So go and tell people how great they are! :))
Angel <3
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